you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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