please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
