im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
