Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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