why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
