a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
