I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
