So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
