i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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