I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
