sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
