I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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