I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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