Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize