What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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