we have pet lesbian snakes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
