Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize