just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize