and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
