He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
