i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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