Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
