is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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