Cold hands, warm shart.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
