So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
