I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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