Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize