look no pants
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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