thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
