Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize