I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
