I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
