I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize