We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
