I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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