Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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