So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
