How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
the raccoons are back...
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