...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
