singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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