bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
