I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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