um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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