the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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