is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
