I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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