I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
