did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
