Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize