No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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