Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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