me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
