Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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