yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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