the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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