Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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