i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize