God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
