What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
