So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
