My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize