Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
