Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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