I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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