Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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