Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
