We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
