I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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