Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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