Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he shaved USA in his pubs
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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